Now is the time for all good men to put their hands together, pull them apart and rapidly put them back together again, and repeat, to give props to the President for not curling up into a fetal position with a “Kick Me” sign taped to his butt. You know. Like a Democrat.

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Barack Obama was President a mere 12 days before the Nobel Peace Prize nominations closed and he still won. I know, I know. “He showed early promise.” Talk about handing in an A paper at the beginning of the semester. Less than two weeks in office and he earns himself a Peace Prize. This guy is good. Of course, you got to remember, the potential recipient list for a Peace Prize is not what you call your deep field. Never has been. Hence: Kissinger, de Klerk and Arafat.

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Unbeknownst to the main stream media, the remarks by President Obama concerning the recently disclosed nuclear plant being constructed at Qum were written the night Bibi Netanyahu addressed the UN and told the world that he would not accept the President’s desire to halt construction of settlements on Palestinian land. In fact, Netanyahu told the President that Israel had no intentions of seeking peace with the Palestinians.

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Well, look at the time. Aren’t we expecting the Return of the Bride of the Son of the Swine Flu pretty soon? That’s right. It’s Baaaaack and this time, its personal. Scientists predict the virus will be worse this swing through Northern Hemisphere, but come on, no matter how bad it gets, it’s still not going to be 1919.

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Remember back in grade school, when all learning came to a screeching halt while the teacher stopped to explain what was going on to the slow kids? She’d spend the entire morning trying to simplify the lesson plan so they could get it.. Using small words in her annoying patient voice, which tended to pitch strident the slower she talked. Well, that’s what’s happening here. America is being held hostage by the dim.

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Labor Day. The Rodney Dangerfield of holidays. Nobody knows why it’s treated like the runt of the celebration litter. Maybe it has to something to do with our biological clocks being stuck on elementary school time. Deep down in our bones, we’re anticipating the first Monday of September pounding the final nail into the coffin of our vacation signaling a return to whatever scholastic institution we’ve been consigned to that semester. Making it as endearing as thunderheads on a picnic morning.

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Got to give the President a big bowl of props for interrupting Obama Rama on Martha’s Vineyard with his valiant effort to paint a big old smiling happy face on the side of the economy. Although in the future, he might want to come up with something a bit more reassuring than “we’re losing jobs at a much slower pace.” Hey everybody, did you catch that? The economy is doing less badly.

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