POLITICAL HUMORS
May 12 2009
The First 110 Days
By Will Durst   

We sort of skipped past President Obama’s first 100 days last week due to the looming horror of the dreaded SWINE FLU EPIDEMIC, which now looks about as lethal as your average bunny rabbit furball contagion.. Although people do continue to flip out, like Egypt, which slaughtered nearly Every Pig in the Country. But fear not, Anne Coulter was nowhere near the joint at the time. All I’m saying is don’t expect BLTs to show up on the daily specials menu at your favorite Cairo deli.

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Tags:  Will Durst Anne Coulter SWINE FLU Pig
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Not so Frequently Asked Questions About the Swine Flu
By Will Durst   

Q. What is swine flu?
A. A respiratory disease caused by a type A influenza virus that has mutated into H1N1, and is currently terrorizing the globe. Don’t you read the papers?

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Tags:  Will Durst FAQ Swine Flu
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I Hate Earth Day
By Will Durst   

I hate Earth Day. I’m serious. It makes my head hurt. Pours buckets full of tiredness into my soul. 40 years of watching it slowly transform from a vibrant subversive movement to an ineffectual Hallmark holiday has sucked all the energy out of me. We’re approaching President’s Day here in terms of vapid commercialization.

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Tags:  Will Durst Earth Day Al Gore
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Arrgh Diplomacy
By Will Durst   

It’s bad enough Obama has to juggle two wars while scrubbing the floor of the White House trying to clean up the domestic mess left by the previous tenant, but as soon as he looks out the door, what does he see… pirates. That’s right. Pirates.

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Tags:  Will Durst Arrgh Diplomacy Maersk Alabama Navy Seals
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A Little B-12 From The G-20
By Will Durst   

The excitement is palpable. G-20 Mania has swept the country like blue mold on dead fruit in the crisper bin of an abandoned refrigerator. Especially amongst the 18 Americans aware that the G-20 is a meeting of the leaders of the world’s top economic nations and not a Bingo call.

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Tags:  Will Durst World Economy B-12 G-20
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My Lunch With Drew
By Sherwood Ross   

Now that Obama has been in the White House awhile, I asked my friend Drew, a lifelong GOP contributor, to lunch at a seafood restaurant near his K Street office to see how he was managing to get along.

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Tags:  Sherwood Ross GOP White House
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Stuff a Sanitary Sock In It
By Will Durst   

Oh for crum’s sake. Settle down people. You’re fixated. You’ve inflated this whole steroids thing into a national obsession. Suddenly, steroids are the root of all evil. An Al Qaeda trick designed to devastate Democracy from within. No. That’s not it. It’s athletes trying to cover Father Time’s spread. The average Major League Baseball career is 5.6 years long. If you’re going to make it, better start today. And be willing to do whatever it takes. Especially after Marvin Bernard and Fernando Tatis start going long.

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Tags:  Will Durst Steroids Major League Baseball
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The Baby Steps Blues
By Will Durst   

Excuse me, but I got a couple of questions. What’s the damn deal? The hell happened? Am I missing something? I mean, come on, Barack Obama assumed office almost two entire complete whole months ago and I look in the paper and guess what? Equivalence. The war in Iraq…  rages on; Global warming… continuing hotness.

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Tags:  Will Durst Global warming Baby Steps Blues
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