It was weird to hear the words that flew out of Barack Obama's mouth when asked to comment on one of the four or five or FORTY of his Cabinet appointments that were forced to pull out before their confirmation hearings commenced.

"I screwed up."

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It is the stuff of nightmares. Hear the shabby shuffle of their soft somnambulant stutter and your skin begins to crawl. To see their haunted hollow eyes on the cable news shows taking no notice of their surroundings is a spiral straight into terror. The worst part is the cries of the children as they cower behind couches, hands over their ears blocking out the monotonous intonations of the mind numbing mantra- "Tax Cuts. Tax Cuts. Tax Cuts." They are the Tax Cut Zombies from the Planet No!, and they are not of this earth. Okay, maybe they are, but they sure don't live in the real world.

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The President is not what you call dim. He's obviously aware the only thing worse than a bleakening economy is a bleakening economy where the most depressed of us are forced to watch the least depressed of us get handed eight figure bonuses. And no, that's not counting the two figures to the right of the decimal point. It's one thing to be supplementing your diet with discount cat food. It's another thing to have your nose rubbed into the tiny tins by the people responsible for compelling you to munch on the Meow Mix.

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A politician making lemonade after being pelted by a bushel of media chucked lemons is as familiar as red yarn on the handle of a black bag on the luggage carousel at O'Hare. But few alive have seen the likes of Rod Blagojevich. Not content to stir up a nice cold pitcher or erect a simple stand, the former Illinois Governor is challenging Minute Maid's supremacy in the field of citrus concentrate.

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It might have been the shortest honeymoon this side of a drunken Britney Spears careening off of quarter poker video games in Vegas. I'm talking about Barack Obama's relationship with the press after his Inauguration as the 44th President of the United States. His hands- off grace period might even have edged into negative territory.

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It is the wackiest photo-op since Sarah Palin went herself a- turkey- farming. 3 ex presidents, the current president and the future president all kicking it old school, chilling in the Oval Office talking about what cool carpeting abounds. The five of them together is a great image. And if Barack Obama is serious about that economic stimulus plan of his, we could raise a ton of money selling poster- sized copies of this historic  gathering for use as a bipartisan dartboard. And George the Younger conveniently positioned himself in the middle to act as a natural bulls eye.

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Okay. Just so you know: the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year are as different from the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of the Year as a tarantula infested banana tree is from a small paper bag of locking quarter- inch steel washers painted blue. Other stuff might have had a bigger impact on America and the World, such as an African American guy whose middle name is Hussein winning the Presidency of the United States.

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