POLITICAL HUMORS
May 23 2008
Top Twenty Reasons Hillary Clinton Should Stay in The Race
By Will Durst   

Even though the dogged Hillary Clinton is being encouraged by friend and foe and pundit alike to drop out of the Democratic Presidential Primary, there is a contingent that thinks her best move is to dig in her heels and bite the hand off of anyone who tries to restrain her.

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Tags:  Will Durst Democratic Presidential Hillary Clinton
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Hillary Removes Bill Clinton as First Husband
By Greg Palast   
In a surprise move meant to reinvigorate her faltering campaign, Democratic hopeful Hillary Clinton dismissed William Clinton as First Husband designate.
 
Those close to the candidate, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that Mr. Clinton, also known as “Bill,” had, with press revelations of his business associations with the repressive Colombian regime, plus a long history of support for anti-union causes such as NAFTA, had become a “real drag” on Senator Clinton’s ambitions. 

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Tags:  Greg Palast Hillary Clinton Bill Clinton First Husband
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The Stamp of Upheaval
By Will Durst   

Like a blind squirrel tripping over a discarded acorn, the pundits may have accidentally stumbled onto a similar nugget of truth in their speculation that Hillary is making Barack a better candidate. Or maybe he’s just a quick learner. Either way, Mr. Obama seems to have gotten real good real quick.

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Tags:  Will Durst Obama Clinton
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It's Over
By Will Durst   

I’m not saying Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s historic presidential run is toast. Finished. Down the drain. Caput. Washed up. History. A memory. In the archives. Defunct. Extinct. Artifacto. Took a hike. Sleeping with the fishes. Part of the vast past tense.

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Tags:  Will Durst Obama Jeremiah Wright Hillary Rodham Clinton
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Me ID. Yoy ID. We ID.
By MWC News   

All I want to know is… the hell is the big deal? Settle down. People, you’re going to pop an embolism the size of a balloon poodle tail. I’m talking about the reaction to the 6 to 3 vote by the Supreme Court upholding an Indiana law that requires a person to show a photo ID in order to vote.

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Tags:  Will Durst photo ID Supreme Court
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Post Pennsylvania Primary Punditry
By Will Durst   

Order another bag of peanuts, pass the cotton candy and get used to the smell of sawdust, because the circus tour has been extended. Yes, my friends, welcome to the primary that will not die.

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Tags:  Will Durst Pennsylvania Primary Punditry
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President Whatshisname
By Will Durst   

I think its time you and I had us a talk about President Whatshisname. Certainly time somebody spoke of him. Because I’m not sure anybody’s noticed, but he seems to have disappeared lately. And don’t go all blank on me: You know who I’m talking about. The guy in charge. Supposedly.

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Tags:  Will Durst John McCain Congress US President
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The Puppy Party
By Will Durst   

Poor Hillary. Everybody wants her to quit. Nancy Pelosi wants her to quit. Michelle Obama wants her to quit. Wouldn’t be surprised to hear Fidel Castro thinks she’s been hanging on too long. Even pundits who don’t really want her to quit are calling for her to quit because the next vote isn’t for three weeks and they’re caught in the Primary Dead Zone Vortex and like an excited terrier piddling in the stairwell at the sound of the key in the door, just can’t help themselves.

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Tags:  Will Durst Hillary Clinton Nancy Pelosi Puppy Party
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