Chin up me buckos. Be brave. Don't go all El Foldo on us here. This is no time to pull a John Edwards. Oh I understand the temptation to succumb to the numbing forecast of further interminable debates, but we've come much too far to break down into deep racking sobs just yet.

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It’s like seeing an old friend.  More exciting than skydiving strippers with dissolving chutes. Having the Democrats revert to the famous fractious form they sported in the bad old days of the loonie left, I mean.

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Thinning the Republican herd in this year's Presidential Sweepstakes is proving to be harder than 3-D chess with transparent pieces. In their first three primaries, the GOP has mounted three different heads on their electoral wall.

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Listen my friends and you will hear a tale of a fateful night. It’s a tale no other dare speak of. Not a matter of political correctness. It is shame. Of which I have little. If any. Okay. None. So here goes. What follows is the real and true story of how Hillary Clinton overcame a double digit same day deficit and won the New Hampshire Primary. A tale of a race and of race.

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The great thing about the Iowa Caucuses is even after its over, nobody knows exactly what happened. Its best described as musical chairs without the music. And no chairs. On the Democratic side, people don’t really vote.

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A Satirical Purgative for the Last Seven Years

Okay, so it's New Year's morning 2008. Big deal! I have a raging head cold and there's still 385 days until . . . what . . . a new president . . . a new hope for the democratic experiment of our Founding Fathers . . . until my sinuses stop feeling like an unanaesthetized root canal.

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Okay. Just so you know: the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year are as different from the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of the Year as Peppermint Mini Marshmallow Froot Loops are from porridge. For instance, the Pakistani government transition didn’t make our list. Why? Because it has the humor quotient of cider vinegar foot baths.

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