Got to give the President a big bowl of props for interrupting Obama Rama on Martha’s Vineyard with his valiant effort to paint a big old smiling happy face on the side of the economy. Although in the future, he might want to come up with something a bit more reassuring than “we’re losing jobs at a much slower pace.” Hey everybody, did you catch that? The economy is doing less badly.

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 797

What is it with the crazies with the guns at the town halls complaining about the health care reform death panels? There are no health care reform death panels. Is this what constitutes legitimate dissent now? Just making stuff up? Okay. Fine. I want to protest the black capsules the government plans to shove down our throats at age 30 to tamp Social Security costs down and honor Michael York in Logan’s Run. Come on everybody: “Black Capsules Bad.” 

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 940

If you’ve ever been fortunate enough to visit Washington DC in August, you understand the custom of the federal government releasing all its high profile delinquents back into their home communities and calling it recess. DC was built on a swamp and walking around our Capital right now is like slogging through a sauna while wearing a lard- lined jogging suit made out of yak hair.

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 623

Besides needing a vacation from your vacation, the worst part of returning to work after a traditional summer holiday, is the realization that you’re going to need a minimum of two days for every day gone just to get back into the swim of things. And the mound of memos piled on your desk is just the tip of the iceberg.

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 827

“We can only give you a couple of minutes with the President, so make your points quickly,” his aide said opening the door to the Oval Office, where I instantly felt the full force of the smile that has charmed the world.

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 978

Want to take this time to congratulate the Iranian people for upgrading to a participatory government where they feel empowered enough to take to the streets to complain. For those of you who have been too busy digging under bushes for returnable bottle deposits, there is major rioting going on in the country formerly known as Persia, due to their sneaking suspicion of rampant voter fraud.

Comments (2) | Quote this article on your site | Views: 1090

One of the biggest joys of the open road is its pure democracy. Bentleys and Pintos idling side by side at the same red light. Limos, BMWs, Fords and those little enh cars that look like they’ve been squashed between two big rigs, all subject to the same speed traps, congestion and potholes big enough to swallow locomotive engines. Valet attendants who can be reliably counted on to scrounge around gloveboxes for loose change while burning an eighth of an inch of rubber off of high end Pirellis and cheap Chinese retreads with total egalitarianism.

Be first to comment this article | Quote this article on your site | Views: 890