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Nov 12 2006
Ahahahaha Hahahahahahaha Hoo Boy | Print |  E-mail
Political Humor
By Ben Tripp   

Translation

Ahahahaha Hahahahahahaha Hoo Boy

"President Bush’s job approval rating has fallen to just 31 percent, according to the new NEWSWEEK Poll."

ImageThe Lord giveth and he taketh away.

Examine this photograph, from the same article. Examine it closely.{press for actual size)

It is a picture of president George W. Bush and the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, a Democrat.

Pelosi is cupping something in her hands, grasping firmly but not yet squeezing, although there is a certain rigidity to her arms that suggests she might really give it a tweak. Her expression is stiff, triumphant, commanding. She is upright, in control.

Bush, on the other side of the frame, is leaning slightly forward, as if in discomfort. His expression is embarrassed, dazed, and there is a twinge of pain about the set of his mouth.

His hands are laced over his groin.

Nancy Pelosi just tore his balls off. She is holding them in her hands. Everything you need to know about American politics is visible in this single image.

Bus Senior made it down to 29%, Carter made it to 28%, and Nixon made it to 23%. Here's why you should still fear and loathe everybody you don't know personally: Richard M. Nixon, who was the second-worst president of all time, had the support of 1 in 4 Americans, even at the lowest low point of his low lowness.

Richard Nixon, I repeat, was supported by a quarter of the electorate, even as he went down in ass-flames.

George W., the worst president ever, has the hearts and minds of a third of Americans. He should be loved by none, but they're still rallying.

Let us remember that Nixon inherited Vietnam and was dealing with a very difficult period of international reconfiguration between East and West hemispheres, and Americans understood that to a degree his problems came from a misguided attempt to find a shortcut through the woods.

W. inherited a rosy economy, budget surpluses, an absolutely supreme United States in world affairs, a complete absence of wars in which America had obligations, and as far as we know, he wasn't adddicted to Dilantin like Nixon was.

So Nixon managed to fuck up in circumstances rife with opportunities to fuck up. All George had to do was hold the steering wheel.

He's at 31% now, down some 5 points from last time, as I recall. He'll almost certainly go lower, as his 'base' (well-named) abandons him for eating crow and shucking and jiving.

Ben Tripp, author of Square in the Nuts, is a hack in many mediums.

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Tags:  Ben Tripp George W. Bush Nancy Pelosi Democrats
 
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