RE= The War Machine, by  James Secor  

http://mwcnews.net/content/view/11582/42/

Right now I feel such a mixture of emotion and the distillation of thought seems to be so very difficult right now. I am so grateful to exposure to ideas that challenge my beliefs. It is good to have a reminder of the world that although seems far off, is not yet impossible. I can barely think straight right now, so tumultuously I cling to that I want to see, yet shaken by the unlikliness of it all. A reminder of how far America has strayed from the sage advice of Eisenhower, and how deeply the might of the military machine has permeated almost every facet of American life.

I am alternately confused at the seeming primacy of profit when in all reality the same profits are based upon elaborate illusions of the relative value of objects, transposed in to bits of credits and debits on ledgers. The real worth of not only America, but indeed all the world is the beauty that we create and the beam in my eye may be causing some disjointedness of action right now, but the very presence of it furthers my resolve to find a better way to live.

It hurts so much; I would smash my own reflection if I thought I could escape the pain of the depth of complicity I feel. I have never shot a gun, and probably never will. This world seems so dangerous and yet I can not feel that the best way forward is to hunker down and continue the seemingly endless cycle of conquest that the nation I live in has tried to promulgate. I am so close to self-loathing right now, I can’t stand it for I know it stands in the way, but so much of my identity has been that of an American, it is hard to remember that even though I believe in the tenets of the Constitution, and intuituvely believe that the last six and a half years have been an extended exercise in governance to spite the beauty of the Constitution.

I can separate myself as an individual from the things that the government has done. {I think} (and perhaps hope) I want a world where the children of other nations are as safe as my children are right now. It seems that the price of the safety of myself and my family is far too high if it means that 603,002 people have died in the sands of Iraq for it. I feel so confused, I love this country, and have been lucky enough to see many of it’s states and live on both coasts as well as the heartland and yet will not believe that my right to be here is any greater than the rights of the people of Iraq, Afghanistan or truly any other place on this teeny little world to be here. It hurts so much. So strange the way I see myself hinges on a moment, a soul-searing moment of revulsion at what I am part of with the strangest sense of flight or fight. I don’t want to live in a nation like this, yet feel that I see so much that is untenable to me as an individual, how could I leave without saying anything about it first? I fThe beams in my own eye, splitting my skull yet not eclipsing my belief that yet humanity will find a way. I suppose that underneath it all, I am grateful for the feeling of use-lessness that reading the eassy engendered. {do you take offense if I clarify that with my interpetation of that being to consume less, I worry of questions of interpetation causing confusion when I use stretches of English words to personal meanings.

I feel like you know that though.. soo whatever..back to what I wrote before.} Even as I struggle with myself as I look around at what seems like the very trap springing close to my heart. Its like pain with a tiny does of comfort. I tell myself that in a world that prizes stacks so highly, any way to get beauty out and into the world is better than none at all, however, it seems that patronage must have it’s limits. Oh longing, and despair yet hope all in one moment. I don’t know if it’s my heart or head that hurts right now, but the feeling of growth and shaking the detritus off the modes of thought that I can no longer abide. Such a strange moment right now. I feel quite unwell, bound and determined to see change, yet mindful of the complexity, and ferocity of those that feel that their dominance is threatened. Not so much for myself, but those in more precarious situations, I seek yet a way to persuade the pockets of priviledge that profit from the deaths of children just like mine.

It seems that there has to be a way that America can back away from the road of destruction. { the point I wish to make for Americans that support escalation of the occupation of Iraq --> }How are we safer if pursuit of ever more terrible weapons denudes the land of it’s value? (Since profit seems to be valued more than the message of the great prophets of civilization. ) Not value as can be measured in dollars and cents, but value in terms of sustaining life and common sense.{the question I ask myself and fail so often at answering) How can we common people of America disengage ourselves from the yokes of ownership. I nearly cried the other day buying laundry detergent.

Chrissi, U.S.A 

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