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The Dao of Poo-poo I was talking to an academic dean the other day, dean of English at a prestigious university. He made sure I understood that his university was prestigious--a top 10 school to be exact. You know how dull-minded foreigners can be! To me, a prestigious university is one which produces prestigious graduates, students who stand head and shoulders above all other university graduates. In the area of English studies this would mean these prestigious graduates should run circles around their competition from other universities in speaking, listening, reading, writing and--above all--research. Rigorous standards would need to be maintained and, thus, the prestigious university would only employ high quality professors. With the number of college students increasing, it stands to reason that the level of competition would increase, for excellent graduates can issue forth from less prestigious institutions, which can result in a rise in prestige for those institutions. Any rise in prestige for one school must necessarily entail a loss of prestige for another. As this dean was from a prestigious institution, as he persisted in telling me, I was interested in his method of maintaining the high standards that would necessarily keep his university amongst the very prestigious. He turned out to be affable and candid. "My style of deanship is of the Dao," he said, not at all apologizing for dipping into the vaults of classical history, as so many other academicians would in their wish to be seen as modern. "I'm familiar with Laozi," I said, "but I'm not sure how his esoteric philosophy applies to overseeing an academic discipline. "Perhaps that is because you only have an English translation. Let me explain. . . the appropriate way to rule--and overseeing is ruling, you agree?" "For argument's sake, yes," I nodded. "For argument's sake, yes. Laozi said that the most appropriate way to rule--to oversee," he smiled knowing to me, "is to do nothing. And that is my philosophy of deanship. I am the do-nothing dean." And he sat back pigeon-chested, smiling at his bon mot. "My," I said, wide-eyed," that's profound." "Yes, it is, isn't it. But let us remember that Laozi said this. I am only his humble disciple." "As was Liezi." "Yes, yes. Liezi. Ahh. . .Liezi. Laozi says, be the chief but never the lord. He also says, be proud and you will never lead and. . .if he is strenuous, there is no master then." "A good runner leaves no tracks," I mimicked. "That's very good! I see you understand. So. . . because the way is the way, to direct the way would be to pervert the way and so, if I am wise, I will do nothing and allow the way to manifest itself of itself. For in the way there is no good or bad and so, in the end, it does not matter what we do, everything will turn out as it should. The rulers of the Jin Dai are excellent examples here. Since, according to Laozi--via Liezi--the way will manifest itself no matter what you do, these ruling elite indulged themselves in all sorts of depravity and cruelty and arbitrariness--and look at the result"--he flung his arms wide--"a wonderful, harmonious China!" I bent my head close over my notes. "My staff are of the highest quality, graduating from the best universities. Indeed, most graduated from this very school." "Isn't that kind of like incest?" He scowled at me. "Insects? We have no insects here!" "Incest. I said in-cest." "Ah! Incest. Yes. Incest. No. No incest here. By keeping our own unto our own, we are combating the brain drain. We treat our own very well here and one of the ways we do that is to let the staff alone. They are competent. They know what they are doing." "Don't people sometimes need direction?" "Is my direction their direction?" "But you are the head of the dept. Don't you want anything for the department that you've been entrusted with that you might direct the teachers toward?" "Yes. I wish it to remain as it is. If I interfere by imposing my ideas, I will be changing its direction, which is not to change. It has stood us in good stead for a century. You know," he chuckled, "I could be wrong." He laughed out loud. "Why take that chance?" "I see. So, you think highly of yourself." "No, no. I am not so conceited. I am like to an insect on this earth." "But Laozi also says, world sovereignty can be committed to that man who loves all people as he loves himself." The dean sat bold upright in his chair and, without missing a beat, informed me, "I don't wish to rule the world." "I wouldn't want to either, though I sometimes think I could do a better job than our present world leaders." "It is not appropriate to criticize your betters," he snapped. "Perhaps not." I snapped my notebook shut. "You teach comparative literature, correct?" I asked. “Yes. Yes. I do. There are so many parallels, you know, that it seems we are all one people." "I would agree. Well," I stood up. "Thank you very much." "You're welcome. When do you think this will appear?" "I have no idea. It is all up to my editor. He does not practice the ruling philosophy of Mengzi. His will be done." "That is biblical, yes?" "Yes." I walked to the door, the dean following politely behind. We shook hands. "It seems to me your philosophy of leadership is a distant parallel to Adam Smith's invisible hand." "Oh. I wouldn't know about that." People should not amass wealth dishonestly, but, then again, they need not purposely make themselves poor. ["黄莺英", 斋志异选] Recommend this article...
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