Let me tell you about Spiderman. He was a smart-ass who played tricks on everybody. A foolish guy. Tantalizing people. Making them miserable. And so, often he outwits himself. This is because he has everything in one place. He is fat there with many legs. He is like the web he weaves.

One day as he was stalking about, he came across a lake. There were very many ducks there. His eyes grew wide. His belly rumbled. He had to have those ducks.

He was wily. He went home and stuffed an old bag full of weeds. He walked back to the lake. He stepped out from the bushes carrying his wampum and strolled across the grassland. He was whistling a happy tune. His step was light and jaunty. He waved at his friends the ducks. They waved back.

'Hey! Where are you going, Spiderman?"

"I've been invited to a revival and I am going to have a good time."

"What do you do at a revival?"

"You sing and dance. It is a joyous occasion."

"Take us with you."

"Oh, no. I could not do that. You do not know the song. You do not know the dance."

"Teach us the song and dance so we will not be embarrassed."

"Well, I do not know. . .okay. . .I will do it. It will be much more fun with friends along."

Spiderman set his bag down with a chuckle. He was a merry old soul. He instructed the wild ducks.

"First you must stand in three rows. In front will be the fat, juicy ones. In the second row, the mid-sized ducks. And in the third row, the skinny, scrawny ones."

They did as they were told. After all, Spiderman was their friend. He was going to teach them a song and dance. He was going to take them to a revival meeting. It was to be a joyous occasion.

"Okay. First you must close your eyes. You must not open your eyes while you are singing and dancing. You will become blind. Okay. Now. Dance!"

The ducks danced. They waddled about. They shook their booty. They jumped up and down. They flapped their wings.

"When can we open our eyes?"

"You must sing first. Sing now."

The ducks sang.

"Louder! Louder!"

The ducks quacked louder.

"Louder, louder! I can't hear you!"

The ducks kicked up quite a ruckus.

They were enjoying themselves so much they could not hear the thump-thump of Spiderman's club as he hit them over the head.

One of the scrawny old ones in the back opened his eyes. The skinny, low-class, no-account. He saw what was going down and raised a clamor. The fat ones up front doing the song and dance had got into the pot.

The ducks left standing in a row quacked and flew off. But Spiderman had gotten his dinner. And then some.

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