Hannity: Eh, can we get back to the interview with the candidate, please? Senator Cain, which of the Democratic candidates do you think will win the nomination?

Cain: Makes no difference Sean, I can whip either one. They’re both in a tail spin as we speak.

Hannity: What do you mean by that Sir?

Cain: Well, you’ve heard Hillary telling the world how great I am, how unbeatable. She’s not doing that to become my Vice President. No, Sir, she’s setting Obama up for a fall. He hasn’t any experience to speak of so she’s making me the straw man to force the lone delegates to opt for her. And Obama, he’s got his own problems. Just look at the religious left-leaning liberal pastor he’s hooked up with. That man just doesn’t like us.

Hannity: But, Sir, some are saying that he’s pointing to how some things our government has done have caused foreigners to dislike us and that explains why they attack us. You don’t think that’s true?

Haggai: Let me answer that, Mr. Hannity. For God’s plan to work, we need people to hate us. That’s why he placed Israel in the midst of the infidels. We needed a strong base right in the middle – and that’s Israel’s job. It’s all part of the plan. You must have noticed that every time we assert the need for peace in the mid-east, like the recent Annapolis Peace Conference, Israel starts killing more Palestinians with our F-16s and missiles. The Arabs get angry again. It’s all building to a showdown at Megiddo. Senator Cain has endorsed Bush’s plans, and he’s been the best president yet to advance that hatred in the mid-east.

Lieaman: Please, Reverend, we must be more diplomatic in our answers or people will get the wrong impression. Israel after all wants peace; they just can’t find any Palestinian leader who will accept 14% of their original land for their state. Americans have to know that Israel will agree to a Palestinian nation as long as it’s surrounded by Israel and the settlements can remain where they are. Oh, and Jerusalem must be wholly Israel’s.

Haggai: Absolutely! There can be no land deal for peace. Israel can’t give away God’s land. Besides, that al Aqsa Mosque has to come down; that’s where God told us he wants his temple rebuilt. Don’t you agree, Senator Cain?

Cain: Hey, if we’re going to be in Iraq for a hundred years, we might as well get everything we need while we’re there. Besides, it looks like we’ll have to take out Iran as well. Aren’t they the ones “coming from the north”? I heard you preach that once, right?

Haggai: No, Sir. It’s Russia that comes down from the north.

Hannity: I think we’re getting off track again here. Can we get back to your comments about the Reverend Right, Senator Cain? Let me read this quote from a liberal theologian: “How can one question what the reverend says? Isn’t it true that the Europeans who came here enslaved the natives, stole their land and drove them west or wiped them out as they did the Pequots? Isn’t it true that they brought slaves from Africa and passed laws justifying that institution for 250 years before it was ended in the Civil War? And didn’t they create segregation and Jim Crow laws that lasted almost another 100 years to keep them subjugated? And hasn’t this country overthrown democratically elected leaders in Iran, Chile, Haiti, Salvador, and elsewhere to put in dictators that support our Capitalistic global economy? Isn’t this why America’s hated in the world? Why do we say he’s a racist then?” Well, Sir?

Cain: Look, Sean, we can’t change history; what’s been is done. No sense raising the dead. Can’t help us now, can it? Why should we feel bad because some bad things were done years ago? Nobody wants to feel bad about America. It’s the best country in the world, everybody knows that.

Hannity: But, Senator, you’re not answering the question. Doesn’t America’s violent past, especially that done to people of color, make people think evil of America and isn’t that what Reverend Right has said?

Lieaman: Mr. Hannity, may I interrupt. What the Reverend has said offends people. After all, how many of them ever studied their history? Most have little or no knowledge of what we did to the Indians. All they know comes from John Wayne movies. What they know of slavery comes from “Gone with the Wind.” We don’t want to stir up our dirty linen. Let them live in their American dreams.

Haggai: I agree wholly with the good Senator from Connecticut. After all he represents the citizens of the state that exterminated the Pequots. Hell, that was our first total wipe out and it happened in 1636. But we outdid that in Iraq when Bush’s Dad was President and he oversaw the “Highway of Death.”

Hannity: I’m sorry, gentlemen, but this is getting totally out of hand. I have to end this interview. Let me bring in Mr. Combs to play some music. I have to calm down; I’ve never experienced such fear in my life and this with a Republican, a Reverend, and a Senator from the Israeli Likud Party. Good night.    

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Comments (1)

1. 27-03-2008 02:40

papa mccain

 
...take out Iran... 
 
That's a long SHOT  
 
 
.. a too long od a shot.Peobably. 
 
So I rather plan for "living with the Iranianbomb" 
we lived with the russian bomb for 60 Y, now  
it is not all that bad, no shots fired yet. 
and thats good.

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hlg

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