But When Do They Start to Talk about the Real Stuff of Governing?

I heard yesterday that Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain linked Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. (Hmm....blonds alongside a Black man.......pictures say more than words in this case.)

Then I understand that Barack "played the race card" when he said that the Republicans will try to convince folks to not vote for him because he doesn't look like former presidents on our money.

So the game goes on....and on.....and on!

While health care, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the foreclosures of millions of homes go on without solutions, we hear the volley continue. If it's not the candidates themselves taking jabs at each other, it's "usins" repeating all the gossip we've read and heard and seen all over the internet, the papers and on air.

Picture a good ole family reunion. The Democrats are on one side of the room with the Republicans on the other side. The conversation goes something like this:

"Barack is a Muslem. He and Michelle, his wife, share secret 'terrorist gestures.'"

"John McCain wasn't really a prisoner of war. He was off having a good time in North Vietnam all those years."

"Why, Barack's mom was an athiest."

"But McCain only got where he is because his dad was a Navy Admiral. Hell, he was a playboy in the military academy."

"Yeh, but Barack won't say the Pledge of Allegiance, or put his hand on his heart, or even wear a lapel flag pin. Now that takes the cake!"

"If you think that's bad, McCain was among the US Congressmen who were called the 'Keating Five' and investigated because they were taking money from Charles Keating of the 1989 savings and loan scandal. That cost us taxpayers more than $3 billion, and that was a gob of money back then!"

"Hell, that's nothing! I don't trust anyone who comes from Chicago, and besides Barack is a young whipper-snapper. That preacher, Rev. Wright, that he had was a Black racist."

"Come off it! McCain is a womanizer! When he got back from Vietnam, in no time he divorced his crippled wife and married himself a rich young blond, who later got hooked on prescription drugs."

"But McCain's wife doesn't call us Whites 'Whitey,' and Cindy McCain has always been proud of her country, unlike Michelle."

"Yeh, but have you heard about the other woman in McCain's life, some lobbyist Vicki? His aides back in 2000 had to keep the two apart."

"Get off it! Lots of guys have affairs! Look at Clinton and now John Edwards, two lousy Democrats. But if you look in any man's closet long enough, you're going to find an affair or two. Obama just isn't old enough yet. And that's part of his problem. He has no experience in administration."

"So, does McCain? Hell, he doesn't even know how to do email yet. Besides, McCain tells nasty jokes, like asking why Chelsea Clinton was so ugly. Because her dad was really Janet Reno. Now let's get a guy in there with some class!

"You call a former student of a madrassa Moslem school classy? You know if Obama gets elected he's going to swear on the Koran and paint the White House black!"

"C'mon, you're full of you know what! At least Obama can control his temper. I hear that when the red phone rings during McCain's nap, his face will get redder and he'll tell his generals to bomb the hell out of whoever woke him."

Meanwhile our economy dips further and further into the red. Global warming isn't even being discussed. Starving people all over the world are ignored. We hear no solutions. And often we voters don't ask for any either.

We just want our daily fix of jabs, back and forth, back and forth. Issues are boring. Strategic plans with benchmarks are not for us. We'll take The Survivor and Desperate Housewives any day. And anyone who doesn't give us our fix, you're out of here!

After all, it's too darn much trouble to vote anyways! May the least of the bad win!

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