PACKING LIST FOR DENVER DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

•       Oxygen inhalers to counteract altitude poisoning.
•       Extra bumps on my credit card for price of admission to John Elway Museum when convention gets really boring, which means pretty much any time during the four days.
•       "How To Speak Delaware" to figure out what the hell Joe Biden is talking about.
•       A Colorado Rockies hat for Barack Obama.
•       A pair of basketballs for Jesse Jackson on behalf of Barack Obama.
•       A really sharp stick in case either one of the last 2 Democratic Vice Presidential nominees try to show up.
•       Hair spray for Joe Biden's hair.
•       "Free Kwame Kilpatrick!" sweatshirt.
•       Lots and lots of Vivarin.
•       Shorts, hiking boots and down vest in order to blend in outside the convention hall.
•       Grey ponytail and comfortable shoes in order to blend in inside the convention center.
•       One of Hillary's pantsuits for Michelle Obama. Not the weird blue one.
•       "Best of The Eagles" CD.
•       A pair of stridency shock collars for both Bill & Hillary Clinton.
•       A chamois in case Tipper Gore's hair helmet needs a quick shine.
•       Earplugs in case I get caught on elevator with Chris Mathews.
•       "Democrats Used To Do It From The Left But Not So Much Anymore" t- shirt.
•       Portable personal industrial strength espresso machine in feeble attempt to stay alert.

CLAIR HUXTABLE SMOTHERS ANGELA DAVIS IN HER SLEEP.

It was strange watching the Democrats spend most of their initial prime time Convention coverage not by talking about the historic feat of nominating the first black man for the Presidency of the United States but rather focused on the wonderful wacky world of women. Apparently, part of the Obamaniac strategy was to convince the Hillary Clinton insurrectionists to turn from the Dark Side and come home. Where there are no Y chromosomes. You saw it with Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senator Claire McCaskill and Caroline Kennedy all taking turns at the podium, and even Great Aunt Teddy Kennedy making a heartbreaking surprise appearance. But the most effective shot was having the candidate's wife blow a kiss towards Hillary in the midst of assuring blue collar America that she was not a terrorist. Despite wearing a dress that was an absolute bomb. Garnering the biggest response of the night, Michelle Obama referred to 18,000,000 glass ceiling holes and the crowd went nuttier than the hospitality suite at a squirrel convention in Berkeley.

But the very best moment, the one that you couldn't plan with a 1000 miter saws and a conference room full of blueprints, was at the end, when the Obama girls, obviously up way past their bedtime, started cutting up with Barack on a satellite feed. Dad was thrown off script and confused but the kids provided such a winning charm offensive I wouldn't be surprised to hear Hallmark jumped on board by releasing a limited edition Sasha Obama Beanie Baby. A wonderful moment to remember the night by, until the New York Senator speaks tomorrow and all hell could break loose. But that's tomorrow.

HILLARY'S HILL

This is the first Democratic National Convention in which females constitute a majority of the delegates, 50.1%, and fittingly, its being held in the Pepsi Center, the first arena built where most of the rest rooms have one of those stencils on the front door wearing a flared skirt. And isn't that sort of sexist? Or at least clothesist? Nevertheless, this is also the first major party national convention where most of the early high drama is being delivered by women. Last night it was the Obama girls, with Michelle making like June Cleaver, (all that was missing was the pearls) and tonight it's all about Hillary, who is responsible for more stress and anxiety in Democratic hegemony than waiting to see if an avalanche takes out your rope stakes. Her appearance has generated about an 8.7 on the Convention Tension pre ripple Richter Scale. Some people worry she could go either way. Make nice or go to the mattresses. But settle down people: she's always been a true party gal and knows what's expected.

To talk the recalcitrant ones off the ledge and back into the army of Hope. Some supporters are acting like abandoned puppies with discarded chew toys. One group wandering around Denver calls itself PUMA, which stands for Party Unity- My Ass. Bringing them back into the fold is not going to be easy. But then, where are they going to go? Hillary's also being held accountable for everything potentially wrong with the new way forward from providing McCain with his best campaign ad sound bites to the erratic path of Tropical Storm Fay. And tonight she has the opportunity to suture up old wounds and gracefully pass the standard. And then hope the elegance she's demonstrated will pay back dividends in 2012 after Barack loses this fall. That's why they call it politics.

FIRE GOOD. SOMETIMES.

You can understand why half the Democratic Party was Smurf morphing, turning blue from holding their breath for fear of what color fire would be breathed when the woman who never really stopped running for President, even when confronted with the inevitability of simple math, got up to speak. Funny things can happen when you give a torch to a woman scorned. Not all of them good. Especially a woman burned by two philandering pretty boy Democrats who is now being asked to swallow her flame of ambition center stage in front of the entire country. What's that old adage: never get in a match- throwing contest while standing in a pool of crude? She could have used that torch to burn down the whole house with everyone still in it, or shove it up somebody's gas tank or rally the villagers with it, while passing out pitchforks to storm the gleaming castle on the hill.

So the assembled masses breathed a sigh of relief when the blaze orange pant- suited woman in question didn't just pass the torch but lit it with the reflected heat of the passion of her 18 million ceiling crackers. That sigh of relief was especially loud in the Aaron Thompson household of Billings, Montana, where a guy who's going to speak on Thursday watched as well. The biggest question rolling through the Pepsi Center was "Why didn't she give this speech earlier?" Maybe she'll have a chance to give it again. In 8 or 4 years. But for now, the Denver visitors just hope that now the torch has been passed, the guy taking it up grabs the right end. The unspoken sentiment around here right now, is he and his party might want to put some of that heat in their belly. It takes a bonfire.