The Major Criminal’s Song

    I am the very model of a modern major criminal
    I’ve tortured everything in sight, turned animal to mineral
    I’ve stripped men naked, chained them up, and blasted heavy meteral
    I recognize no laws on me unless they’re extra-federal

    My dad once ran the CIA, he told me it was just good fun
    My veep will back me up on that—look out, he’s got a birding gun!
    Those treaties of Geneva type should not be taken serious
    The prohibitions there within are quaint if not mysterious

    I lied the country into war to boost my numbers in a poll
    Ignored advice of everyone from grunt to four star general
    When Wilson tried to show me up, I said hey it’s your funeral
    I’ve ruined oh so many lives, my staff assumes it’s protocol

    I’ll hunt them down and smoke them out as long as I am vertical
    You don’t have to take my word, just ask my old friend Richard Perle
    No terrorist will walk this earth beneath my robot predators
    So what if I kill innocents? (How’d that get past my editors?)

    It’s the president who makes the laws, so I don’t need an alibi
    I decide what’s right or wrong, that’s why I’m the decider guy
    Don’t need to recognize the courts or documents historical
    My explanation’s ironclad if not un-categorical

    My attitudes about your rights are bold and unconventional
    Don’t whine at me about the law, I don’t need you to concern troll
    In short I am the president who won with RATS subliminal
    I am the very model of a modern major criminal

After doing hard time on Capitol Hill, and laboring for a decade in film production, Red Wind has spent the last eleven of his New York City years working as a strategic consultant. He has no idea what that means, either. You can find some of his less, um, seminal work on his blogs - guy2k and capitoilette. He can be reached at redwind[at]theseminal.com.