Political Humor,

No Donut

The news media continues to astound me. Real stories go unreported or get brief mentions; meanwhile, Tom Cruise has had a baby!!!!!

I have been pondering the people that still support the war in Iraq and Bush and so forth. They are cheering for Dracula. They are boosting the cause of juvenile syphilis. But they don't care, and the reason seems to be that they have the worst possible information to go on. They get their news from people like me, except on the other side of the political spectrum, for one thing. And of course they predominantly believe the fairy tales in the Bible are literal truth. They've never traveled outside the country, they don't hold passports, they don't speak any language other than Television English, they can't tell you where Iraq or France or even Washington, DC is located on a map.

And yet, national policy is being formed on both sides of the aisle to appease these fruitcakes. Everybody, Dems and Repugs alike, are courting these Deliverance types, hollering their devotion to Jesus and God and the Flag and turning real issues into window dressing to see who can be the most simplistic and revenge-driven. Everybody is after this 20% of voters, these imbeciles that couldn't hold their own peckers, let alone a conversation.

Here are some non-sequitur questions I will start asking these people. Just to prove they're as ill-informed as we already know they are:

1. Is Washington the state in which Washington, DC is located?

2. Has violent crime in the USA gone up or down since 1970?

3. On what continent is Iraq?

4. Name one country next to Iraq.

5. In college, was George W. Bush:

A) a baseball player
B) a football player
C) a cheerleader

6. How many months did George W. Bush spend in prison for raping an underaged boy in 1973?

I think these questions may help sort out our lunatics on the Right. After that, the main question is, "why are the Democrats such utter pussies?" A subject upon which I think everyone can find common ground.

Ben Tripp is an independent filmmaker and all-around swine. His book, Square In The Nuts, may be purchased here, with other outlets to follow: http://www.lulu.com/Squareinthenuts. His favorite animal is the rhinoceros.

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1. 02-08-2007 01:26

 
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