The Victims of 9/12

Now that Labor Day is over, it took stores about 14 seconds to get rid of their “back-to- school” displays and replace them with shelves of Halloween regalia. And never missing a beat, Karl Rove had George W Bush take advantage of his Secret Service Platinum Card to get an early start on the pagan celebration by donning the most frightening disguise available and heading out to spook the countryside in a week long variation on the old “trick and treat” trek.

This “fear and smear” tour featured the President digging deep into the pockets of his Pumpkin King costume, tossing seeds of dread and horror to all who watched while in the cross hairs of the media deluge of mourning in America on the 5th anniversary of 9/11.

I know I cowered. But can’t figure out if it was a reflex recoil at the sight of the super serious mask Bush uses to hide his condescending smirk; the sheer gall of his distorted reasoning; or the threat that Cheney was going to detach his jaw and swallow Tim Russert whole. Maybe these guys really do believe the BS that oozes out of their mouths. Or maybe they’re just testing the limits of the whole Joseph Goebbels
Big Lie propaganda theory. Wouldn’t that explain a lot, if this were all just a failed senior thesis? Just take the incomplete and get it over with.

“The lessons of 9/11.” “The horrors of 9/11.” “The victims of 9/11.” Its all become… “The dial tone of 9/11.” They chanted it like an airplane hangar full of
Buddhist initiates. Mr Solemn and Mr Sober. Pouring their hearts out for the families of the victims of 9/11. Yeah, right. Apparently, Mrs Bush & Cheney have so much respect for the victims of 9/11 that they formed their ashes into the shape of a football and kicked them around the country for a week of electioneering photo ops. “The hardest part of my job is linking Iraq with the war on terror.” Well, yeah.
Rumplestilskin’s hardest job was spinning gold out of straw.

You aren’t honoring the victims of September 11th. You’re dishonoring them by kicking their remains around for petty partisan purposes. Why don’t you honor the survivors of 9/11 by telling the truth for once? Iraq was a mistake. And when I say survivors of
9/11, I mean us. The victims of 9/12. This is an election year, and we know your scary overture was just the beginning of a five act opera. Its time to get out our BS umbrellas. And keep them upraised for 7 more weeks. Hopefully enough time for we victims of 9/12 to band together and kick you heartless greedy sanctimonious thugs out of office. Nothing personal, I mean that in a good way.

I hope the point of diminishing returns has been reached. That these liquid squeezebags have gone to the well one too many times and there’s a hole at the bottom of their bucket. That the boys who cried Wolfowitcz will finally get their come- uppance and the 110th Congress will wreak holy non secular havoc. Because the people have had it with their load of Iraq BS and ain’t buying it anymore. That the message we will hear reign down from the purple mountain’s majesty…“Stop it, Mr Bush, and get thee away from us now. And take that hideous Cheney thing with you.”

Comic, writer, actor, radio talk show host, Wookie fan, Will Durst, thinks the scariest costume this Halloween will be a Vice Presidential mask.

Catch Durst in radio talk show host mode on Keeping it Real With Will & Willie. Monday through Friday. 7- 10am. PDT. On KQKE. 960 AM. The QUAKE. San Francisco. Or listen long distance @ quakeradio.com.

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Will Drust  five-time Emmy nominee and host/co-producer of the ongoing award winning PBS series "Livelyhood" is also a regular commentator on NPR and CNN, and has appeared on every comedy show featuring a brick wall including Letterman, Comedy Central, HBO and Showtime, receiving 7 consecutive nominations for the American Comedy Awards Stand Up of the Year. Hobbies include the never-ending search for the perfect cheeseburger, while his heroes remain the same from when he was twelve: Thomas Jefferson and Bugs Bunny.

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