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Top Ten Comic News Stories of 2014

Bill Cassidy

Hey guys, Will Durst here with your eagerly awaited Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2014. Now, here’s the deal: please do not confuse these amusing accounts with the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of 2014. No. No. No. They are as different as silky and spiky. Banjos and bullfrogs. Strawberry daiquiris and Chinese made assault rifles. Earrings and peas.

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The Nazis Had Social Security Too

gohmert_bachmann_king

New York Times columnist Andrew Rosenthal is taking some jabs at the courageous members of Congress, which recently passed a bill denying Social Security to Nazis. Think about how much courage that took! Imagine the hate mail that must have flooded in from all the Holocaust deniers!

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Killer Cops

Killer Cops

Cops in America kill with impunity. On average over once a day. FBI data showed 461 so-called "justifiable homicides" last year. A euphemism most often for cold-blooded murder. A likely way undercount. Based on voluntary police reports. No separate federal database exists. No interest in compiling one. No way to check local reports for accuracy.Including how often white cops kill people of color. Usually unarmed/nonthreatening Black or Latino youths.

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Whitey to Whitey: Yes it's us--

Eric Garner

by Daniel Patrick Welch

White Americans have essentially never internalized the Kenner Report. Assembled by Lyndon Johnson to address what was laughably referred to as the Negro Problem, the panel very quickly saw that this was a joke. There is no Negro Problem in the US, but rather a white people problem.

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The Palestinians Topple Another Israeli Government

arabs

Occasionally Israeli political and military leadership fail to survive Israeli wars. PM Golda Meir and her Chief Of Staff (David "Dado" Elazar) were sent home after the 1973 blunder (Yom Kippur war). PM Menachem Begin lost his sanity after the first Lebanon war (1982). Defense Minister Amir Peretz and his Chief Of Staff’ Dan Halutz’ were treated harshly by the Israeli media following the 2006 defeat in Lebanon. PM Benjamin Netanyahu is now paying a price for the recent Israeli disaster in Gaza and the Palestinian uprising that followed.

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